Scarn 16 After

Adventure calls
Horses, Rock Hudson, and the Shack

DMC writeup – May 28, 2017 by Tzar Lenz

Having chased the treacherous Xanthar and his cronies to a broke-down shack, we huddled in the woods deciding upon our assault. Shad had drifted about the entranceway and around the boarded-up windows earlier and had heard voices, so we figured our quarry was inside. Jan considered poking one of her tiny female digits thru a seam in the window boarding to lob in a fiery pea, but then we all feared that that damned Antimagic powder could be on site, and Jan didn’t want to get all the strength sucked out of her (having one noodle-armed party member who needs to grunt with strain just to lift his gaze is enough).

Gwynn casts a bevy of spells in preparation, and we continue to talk strategy, politics, weaving principles, childhood pets, … “That’s 56 seconds” – the voice of DMC peels from the skies like thunder. “Dammit! 2 of those spells I cast have 4-minute durations!” Gwynn notes with alarm! We burst into action… after talking for another 30 seconds or so.

Jan and T.G.R. Tellius enter the double doors and wait for sounds of carnage. Serp guzzles a Climbing poshe and climbs up onto the roof along with Gwynn and Shad [Note: both Gwynn and Shad JUST made their climbing rolls thanks to a round of Guidance spells that the petit druid had laid on the whole team! Those +1s can make a difference]. Once on top of the roof, Gwynn uses a Warp wood poshe to open a hole in the timbers before deftly leaping the 20’ to the floor below, landing among the three horses present like a muff of cotton candy on a pile of sleeping kittens. Shadowspawn, figuring that anything Gwynn can do he can do better, leaps down as well, landing like a fire cracker amidst a gathering of traumatized, caffeine-laced cats!! His legs collapse under him like a bad simile, and the horses lose their shit!! Like three panicked horses in a cramped room, the horses freak out like four panicked horses in a cramped room! Shad takes a hoof to the neck, Tellius comes crashing thru the door and nearly undoes horse 1 with a warhammer to the jaw; Jan tries to diveroll through the chaos but is only partly successful; Gwynn chills out one of dem horsies with some animal diplomacy, logically spelling out to the beast how it is best not to panic in these sorts of situations; but it’s Serp who casts a Calm Animals spell that is like the God of Horses shouting “Whoa, boys!” All three horses are instantly chewing their cud and lazily swatting flies away with their tails. Even Vipet lets out a languid yawn, gently releasing a small crap into Gwynn’s hood.

With decorum restored, Gwynn hoarsely barks an order to Ronn “Dammit, man! Heal that beast you just walloped! There’ll be no dented horse faces on my watch!” The bard wisely complies. Into the adjoining room the crew flock to find an exposed floor hatch and a pushed-aside carpet. Too easy. We study the walls, and the Ronn’s Dwarf-inspired senses sense that the far wall isn’t natural stonework. Gwynn snaps off a harsh whisper to Janella, “Dammit Jan! Cast Det Mag on that wall, will ya!” Jan wisely complies, and it lights up like a son (see what I did there, DMJers?). Tellius loses his cool for some reason and attacks the wall like it’s an Earth Elemental – two rocky limbs shoot out to clout the bard in the nards. It’s an Earth Elemental!! Rocky Rockerman lurches forward, revealing a passageway behind it. Serp hits true with an arrow or two from between the legs of one of the chill horses, Shadowbrawn pounds it mercilessly for 1 damage with a plain-old morningstar instead of the shockerly one (which would have been wise out of fear for the Antimagic powder if we hadn’t already cast 2 or 3 spells in this room). Gwynn throws in Keenu Reaver – it clunks in for a very moderate 5 damage and falls to the floor, Ronn pummels it mightily with his as-yet-unnamed hammer (what kind of bard doesn’t name his trademark weapon??), and Jan tries to twist Rocky’s insides out with a Stoneshape spell (which would have been wise if it weren’t immune to such spells – oh well, that’s how we learn). In the next round, the Great Ronn Tellius brings a determined tear to all of our eyes as he begins to sing one of his greatest Rock ballads, Rue got Stoned. Jannela tries to help by erecting a stone wall in front of the beast, sealing it off from the rest of us, which would have been wise if Keenu Reaver hadn’t been on the other side of said wall! Gwynn, feeling a bit more bossy and perturbable than usual, takes a full round action to berate Jann [Dammit Mageblood! That was Keenu Reaver on the other side of your wall!! What the BLEEEEEP!! BLEEP!! with your mother and a BLEEP!! BLEEEEEP!! with both feet and BLEEEEP!! BLEEEP!! and the whores you rode in on!!!]. The lady mage responds by calmly ignoring the raving halfling and checks out the trapdoor in the floor, investigating with some singing & dancing lights – she doesn’t see much but does hear some sort of creature shuffling around down there. Gwynn regathers his shit and casts Soften Earth and Stone on the wall, causing it to slump like so much clay – the elemental is gone and so is Keenu! Jannela partially shoulders over the wall, Serpy cleverly grabs a plank from the nearby pile of old furniture and lays it on top like a ramp, and the team head into the tunnel with Jannela’s Foxtrotting lights illuminating the way.

There is a side room with maps and the like, and Ronn, Shad, and Jannela pour in to check it out, leaving Gwynn and Serpenthelm out in the hall… which is when the wall to our left reforms as the elemental and moves to close off the room to the right! Behind it, Gwynn and Serpenthelm are surprised by the sudden appearance of… [sorry, no spoilers!!]. At this point, the party is split into two and unaware of what is befalling the other group. Chances are that it’s not good.

Cadarian sunshine
Back to the dungeon, our good ol resting place, full of happy memories, cherished loved ones. Okay, well maybe the memories are terrible medusa filled nightmares, and loved ones area single, unfortunately petrified semi-manservant we barely know. Either way, we’re back under Cadar, ready to resume, whatever it was we were doing before we jumped through that interesting portal into the misty labyrinth.

The party reunites themselves with the loot left behind in the box of holding. Janella decides to take a closer look at the enchanted carpet. Turns out it should serve to act as a portal between the two worlds stitched into the carpet. Judging by the shadowy depiction of the ‘other’ world on the carpet, Ronn geniusly infers that it probably represents the shadow realm from which most of Shadowspawn’s and thus the rest of os’ problems come from.
The group puts their heads together to remember the details of Cadar, the past (several) days having muddled their memories. The ruler of the city is the Lady Scentha. The group heads up to street level to see what’s new. The plan is to find a shop or a tavern to get reacquainted with what’s going down in Cadar. The group peaks out into the main square to see what is undoubtedly war preparations. The battle mages are getting ready for a fight. Apparently tensions we left behind have not settled. A quick thinking, ruggedly handsome Ronn Tellius quickly dismisses Shadowstone’s craven suggestion that we flee into the night and disguises himself as an intelligence officer in the Mage army. The group uses this disguise to enter a tavern, a distantly familiar tavern where trouble had been raised before by the pugilistic Shadowspawn. Before heading into the tavern, it should be noted that cooler heads returned the chest to the underground hideout. After some light carousing in the tavern we discover that as we expected the Prince is on the march, and is very close to Cadar.
We make our way into the main square where the command tent is located. After some forceful words, we win ourselves an audience with the Lady Scentha, armed with the knowledge of the anti-magic powder that can only spell certain doom for the magical forces of Cadar. We are presented to the war council, many well dressed folk surround the table, looking quite important indeed.
Ronn tries valiantly (and handsomely) to deliver the message. Shadowspawn tries to add his piece, but is met with classist derision at the gall of this manservant to speak out of turn. Seeing that the jig is up, Ronn drops the disguise spell and tries good old fashioned honesty.
To the dungeon!! Last time we try that angle…
Gwynn quickly defeats the locks on his manacles, and checks out our barren accommodations. After some time in the dungeon deciding whether death during valiant escape, or death by starvation during a siege would be preferable our ears are alerted to the approach of several people toward our cell.
The visitors are none other than the Lady Scentha and her advisor. We try again to convince the lady, and Gwynn suggests that she use some magical influence on us in order to guarantee the truth of our words. They leave and return shortly thereafter with a candle of truthtelling. We pass on all of our experience with the Prince’s forces and the anti-magic powder. Ronn is overcome by a stuck tongue during this exchange, somehow unable to recount just how heroic his contributions to the quest so far were. Convinced by our words, the Lady tells us that she believes that her chief Intelligence officer, Xanthar is a double agent and must keep us imprisoned for the time being as to avoid suspicion. She then gives us a quest. We are to follow and kill Xanthar, and if possible, discover who his contacts in the Prince’s lands might be. Shadowspawn remembers an old contact from Urlisia named Rutger who was talking to someone from the south.
After Xanthar departs the town we are released to follow. Hurried to the exits of the town we are again on our way.

Serpy unelashes Sam who quickly discovers the location of the villainous convoy. With Sam’s help we follow the party to a ruin.
Shadowspawn enters the shadows to scout the location. He returns with a map, and a cough. We begin to formulate a plan, Gwynn gives us a last minute magical inspiration and we prepare for battle.

January 25 Serp's version of the truth
Still underground. Do we save Rue?

January 25, 2017

Going done the stairs where I got poisoned, its 1325 afternoon. Metal stairs, metal door…they’re kinda chilly. Stairs are dusty. SS thinks the stairs will turn into a slide.
Shad carries the spying shield. We push the dead naga down the stairs. She doesn’t go far. We hook ourselves to the door and I fly around with my bat cloak. I see nothing and its get s really dark. I barely am able to fly back with my cloak. Gwinn climbs down the stairs and pushes the naga a bit and it gets momentum and triggers the slide and its super slippery too. We feed him down….then he comes up again. Gwinn says there is a pit at the bottom. He could see with a torch. There are 3 levers, one which has been tripped. Before the pit the hallway goes left. We all go down single file. We are on a metal platform and its 5-10 degrees. SS sees Charduni runes on the levers. It’s a magical and mechanical device. The naga likely triggered the lever and tore the rope going by. The runes say it’s a faithfulness test. Jann sends down her dancing lights. The pit is 50 ‘ deep and the naga is down there. The triggered lever is put back and the stairs return. The other levers cause blackness and remove the sound. I go down the pit with the cloak. There is a door down there with no handle and other long dead thing. We get back together and continue down the stairs. Gwinn who is in front sees 3 skeletons holding loading crossbows. RT disguises himself as a charduni and engages the skeletons. Jan sends out dancing lights (30’). Gwinn tries to disarm one successfully. It tries to slash him but misses.
RT gets hit. Swarm of 12 more skeletons swarm in. RT gets a hit with a war hammer and kills 11. Jann gets a fire ball in. kill 9. 2 left. Sadly Jan singes RT and Gwinn. I kill one there is one left. I kill the last one.

The lich appears…the one we traded with before and he has 12 skeletons and 4 big undead skeletons with him.
***sense motive creates the target and the bluff is the attack.
We trade the shield to get back to the portal.

At the portal the two clay un-animated golems await. They are slighty bruised from our last encounter. We sneak by them by being smelless and invisible. They activate but don’t go bizerk. On the other side our chest awaits with Rue and Medussa’s wrapped head and a carpet. The magic carpet is conguration.
We decide to go to town and maybe get some loot and a cleric to heal the folk stoned by the Medusa. The knotted rope is lost.

Even more.....

Continue to explore the dusty empty area. Searched a room, transfered to a jail cell after a run in with flaming traps, managed to get out and then encountered a nasty naga. I managed to take down several trapped doors; we got through fairly well.

From dungeons to deserts
Star date Nov 15th, 2016 log by Serpenthelm

November 15th, 2016

Shadowspawn is finally free from his link to the dark sinister sorceress but, now, all of her careful devious planning to….to take over the world?….to control all inhabitants on Scarn? …has come to nothing. She is very unhappy. Her enraged shrieking is the first clue as to how she’s feeling and all the awful spells she keeps throwing at us is another. I am still under the influence of her hold spell when she casts a horrible cold spell! We are all hit, Vipette and Jann worse than the others.

Now interestingly enough, Shadowspawn has been schlepping around a powerful magical dagger, which returns to the user when thrown. He picked it up the same time we picked up our new toys from the Medusa’s treasure pile, and her bag of holding….

Bag of holding
(It’s a 35 lb bag of holding. Which can hold 1000lbs and 150 cubic feet) We had put stone cold Rue in the bag.

From inside the bag we pull out:
Serp-a gorgeous beautifully carved compound long-bow. It doubles the distance I can hit without penalty 220ft!! with +2 hit &damage.
Serp-Candle of truth, (faint enchantment creates a zone of truth 5’ radius lasts 1 hour Will DC 13 negates effect. 2500gp)
Ronn-a throwing war hammer-(powerful, dwarven thrower, like Wolfgars hammer, returns if you’re a dwarf +2 against giants or D8 damage)
Ronn a staff not sure how it works but maybe we can give it away as a bribe…
Jann-scroll case with a scroll that has many spells (arcane teleport. Reduce person. elemental body 3rd level., stone shape and reverse gravity, )
Jann-a pearl of power can hold a spell and let it go when you want. ,
Jann-rolled up rug- powerful, transportation spell. Left behind
Gwinn-a blue ring –transmutation ring of water breathing,
Gwinn-a bluish reddish potion –transmutation.
Shadowspawn-dagger-powerful, an artifact of some sort. /returns when thrown

…He has used it now and again but for the most part has kept it hidden because he hasn’t known the extent of its powers. For months now SS has been living in fear of death or worse from the spell the evil sorceress cast upon him. Finally free, he relishes the idea of telling her exactly how he has felt to be used as a pawn to do her bidding. The name is Shadowspawn not Shadowpawn he extorts. Forgetting for a moment his gutlessness, he lunges at her and plunges his dagger deep into her heart. Amazed at his own courage he steps back in astonishment. The dagger starts to glow, the sorceress starts to convulse, the shadows exclaim “we got her, we got her!” Before our very eyes, the dagger and the dark sinister sorceress dissolve into nothing. How bloody lucky is that!!

The Gypsie returns, and say’s “that’s some dagger! For your troubles, I’ll send you back to the entryway”

On the way there, we suddenly, magically become more powerful!
Ranger 7, bard 1
Back at the gateway we meet the undead sentries, ignore them, rest and lick our wounds.

After a nights rest, we continue up the stairs, away…. away from the damn maze, the endless water, weird gravitational flip flops, sharks, elementals, a rust monster, blue sturges, a hideous malevolent incorporeal face , golems , undead…away from it all with dreams of sugar plum fairies and mulled wine. Onward, one foot in front of the other, towards the sun and green fertile soils. One more flight of stairs, we’re almost there. Oh look “qu’elle surprise” more undead creatures blocking our path…or are they? The main undead dude is in the hallway, waiting for us. In fact he’s still holding the magical staff we had given it in exchange for free passage. He casts a spell on all of us and we disappear and reappear outside, somewhere. Our entire team has been transported atop a wide staircase. Large brass doors sit at one end enticingly awaiting our exploration. We unbelievably are in the desert. The sky is blue and the air is hot and dusty. I can’t find the mulled wine, however I would settle for a beer. RT thinks we are in a parallel universe of some sort. Perhaps, he surmises, we came through the portal to lands protected by the giant animated golems. Let it be known that I am very doubtful regarding this theory. RT is always telling tales! We are beside a temple, which is enshrouded with a magical aura. SS tries to unlock the door using help from the gang. The door is barred on the inside…no problem, child’s play says Shadowspam. We walk in. It’s the same type of architecture as before. There is a dais with a sculpture of the god, Chardune. We exit via stage left. Two skeletons are standing guard. There are tapestries on the walls and the carpets on the floor are dusty. Evidently skeletons are not the best house-keepers. We continue exploring and find a magical trap door, which SStones easily disables with a little help from his friends. Cozy room, nobody to bug us, we rest some more.

RT disguises himself as a Charduni priest, it’s really his best look. We enter another room where there is a smaller sculpture of Chardune. RT, in disguise orders it to stand aside. The sculpture is convinced and stands aside. Through the doors there is a treasure trove of magical items, armor and journals written in ancient Charduni. It looks like a military campaign supply ledger. The room has a dwarven cleanliness to it. I look closely and see a beautifully forged great axe with matching chainmail. I look at the items wistfully until my companions finally beg me to take them. SS can’t take his eyes off the morning star shocker. “Oh the fun I could have” he exclaims. We give it to him. Ronn takes the latest journal hoping to find fodder for a tale or two. I know after all that SS has been through he is feeling deeply satisfied with his new toy. Gazing lovingly at my new axe and armor, so am I. We leave with the loot.
Serp Cloak of the bat
Serp Magical scale mail 1(AC6).
Serp Great Axe +1 keen

SS Morning star shocker d8 +d6 +1
Shield heavy steel studded shield +5

Shadowspawn is free!
so close..

July 18, 2016

We find our Wu’jen in a pit up to their ankles in burning coals. We are protected by Gwinn’s anti fire spells thank Titan! Three out of 4 Fire Elementals remain and want to roast us like wieners. Why bother with a bunch of scrawny half elves and a halfling I wonder. Hmmm they must be attracted to the meat on Ronn. Enough reflexion Serp get in there before the fun is over! Gwinn hits! Ronn hits! FE misses Jann who, by the way, is still a water elemental. Gwinn kills another. I get burnt! 30%3rd degree burns. Stings a little. Ronn hits again. FE misses Jann again. Ronn and I are standing in a puddle of water from one of Jann’s spells. Gwinn flanks the FE and hits. FE hits Ronn. Jann wets the floor….ahhh creates another puddle of water around Gwinn. All of a sudden 1 FE disappears! Likely SS’s giving a one-two punch from the shadows. Ronn and I hit the remaining FE. It puts me on fire. Jannela puts me out. We put it out! Good bye!

We regroup. Jann once again drenches the room. Ronn open the portal in the floor. There is a burning hot metal ladder below. SS is already down there tapping his foot impatiently waiting for us to stop fooling around. Jann wets the stairs to cool them off. We descend the ladder after SS and meet an Air elemental. Not sure what happening but the room is illuminated with magical light. It’s a 40foot drop from the bottom of the ladder so Ronn swoops Gwinn down with a flying spell. I climb down on my rope. Jann climbs down like only a water elemental can!!?

We examine what seems to be the ten thousandth chamber in the ruins. There is a big door on one side with a key hole 4’ above the ground. The wall on either side of the door has some expertly done carvings and stone-work on it. Likely not Charduni in origin as it’s unfinished. It seems to resemble a far off landscape. Ronn recognizes a mountain which no longer exists. From before the divine wars. Misty Mountain, he recalls is sadly, now in the ocean. The floor in the chamber is rough and covered in unmarked dust. Gwinn thinks there is a magical trap on the door. Jann becomes human again though her clothes are wet and clingy. Nice look Jannela. Ronn is quite touched by the carvings. It reminds him of the old days, when times were simpler and all he had to do was tell tales and drink ale. He looks through the crack and sees the tumbler mechanism of the lock. The doors runes are broken. There is no magic. We manage to open the door. Beyond the door it is quite dark so Ronn puts on the charduni belt. With the belt he can see half hewn rocks and rubble below. Jannela puts on the bat cloak and flies down to check it out. She finds a big pile of rock and a round ring carved into the stone. There is also a rack space on the wall where abandoned giant shovels and picks are stored. Inside the dust-free carved circle there is magic. SS, with help from Ronn and Gwinn, finds a powerful magical trap (DC40) and disables it. We are all quite excited by this discovery as we feel we might be approaching our goal! SS succeeds in picking the lock with everyone helping. It takes all our might to push the door open and when it does it slams into the wall. We see a large hallway, which ends in an archway. Here we find runes glowing and operational. Beyond the room are a bunch of musty old carpets. The runes on the archway read “End the holding pattern”. Across the room is a dais with THE long sought after ORB floating on it.

We plan our next and most crucial move. Once SS goes to reset the trap, Jann will mage hand the trap into the room after Ronn activates the carpet by walking on it. I’m doing rear guard in case dark sinister arrives. SS thinks she ‘s around. SS is going into the shadows. Gwinn casts weaken on SS (calls it guidance on all of us). Ronn steps into the room with his shield to activate the supposed carpet monster. We see a flash and then a cross-legged man dressed in robes appears sitting in the air. He looks like a genie with rings on his fingers and bells on his toes. “Well now you don’t look Charduni!’ he says. RT says “But I am. Who are you?”
Dark sinister appears and says, “you have to wish the orb out. Most people are greedy and wish for money, not the orb”. The gypsy says, “the chosen one must be the one who makes a wish”. Ronn Tellius is the chosen one…or so he indicated once. Now it seems he is being taken seriously. SS comes out of the shadows. Not knowing what to do I shoot at the shadow queen and miss. SS aims with his dagger and misses. SS hears in his head yes lets get her. He feels ineffectual. The dark lady casts a hold spell on me, Jann and SS. Jann breaks free. With time running out (we had 10 minutes to ask a question before getting sent out by gypsy Rose, Gwinn runs around and hits her with his poisoned dagger. Doesn’t work. Vipette stays in the hood. SS misses. RT misses. I am held, probably forever. Gwinn moves behind to flank her, stabs and misses. The dark queen tries to casts another spell and fails. SS takes another hit to his constitution and hit points. Gypsy Rose casts something and puts dark sinister into a column of inability. Jann and SS do nothing. RT is sweating and panicky! He knows he only has one shot to save Shadowspawn and his brave Wu’jen companions. He thinks back to a time when wishes were made. He remembers that compound sentences are allowed and thinks that perhaps if the orb were to fall in the dark queens possession, it would allow her to exist in the material plain and give her extra powers. RT finally musters up his courage and says, “Genie, I wish that our comrade SS be free from the queens curse”. It works! The curse is gone. SS feels free. Rose says my work is done here and disappears . The hold on the queen is gone too. SS keeps the dex bonus but the bomb is out of his chest. Relief! The queen, shrieking, enraged, casts a spell. EXTERMINATE! She wants to destroy us all.

from my notes...please edit
Elementals-oh Joy

April 19,2016

I light a candle. Jann casts a ray of enfeeblement to the earth elemental.
She manages to decrease its strength by -2. I damage it with my arrow in the eye and get one of its red gem eyes. Ronn is hit again and is bleeding (-8) Jann stuns it with a high-level scroll spell which freezes it. It gets stoned. Gwinn heals RT to (-3). I do more damage to the EE. Jann spreads her oil-cloth tarp behind it in the hopes of breaking its contact with the ground and diminishing its strength. Gwinn shoves healing magic berries in RT’s mouth. (0) EE still stunned. RT heals himself to +19. I miss. Jann put on her cloak and grabs the rope. I shoot out the other eye. Gwinn uses a sneak attack from behind its head and slashes with Keanu Reaver for 12 damage and it creaks and crumbles to the ground. I get the 2 eyeball gem. We pick up our stuff and regroup. We check out the space and find grey walls. Center of the room is the warmest. Magic is sensed underground. We rest and do the watch. Heal up. Afterwards, I dig down 3 feet and hit metal resulting in a flash. A pair of medium sized EE rise up to get us. SS hits one. One EE hit Gwinn. I miss. RT inspires courage and does damage. Jann shoots and hits. EE hits SS ouch! RT keeps singing and throws the warhammer for the kill! It crumbles to the ground narrowly missing Gwinn. SS uses acrobatics to get behind the other one to stab. I kill it! Crumbling it hurts SS. The others share the other 4 green eye gems.

Where I was digging there are runes and another submarine type hatch. We disable the device. Very hot to the touch. Gwinn can cast resist heat so we can go through the portal. We open it and smell coal smoke. SS goes into the shadows to check it out by climbing down his non burning silk rope. SS comes back after 4 min. He whispers that there is a fire elemental (FE) waiting for us that sensed him. We go down the silk rope. We are properly prepared for the heat. Vipette is back in the tube. Its 90 degrees C. Jann puts the bat cloak and mage armor on and goes down there. There are 4 fire elementals waiting for us. Jann becomes a water elemental. RT starts a tune and misses. Water elemental attacks me. Ouch -3. Gwinn attacks for 8 damage. I step back 5 feet and shoot for 19 damage with two attacks. Gwinn hits. Jann hits. I shoot a critical and smoke out elemental 1…3 left. RT misses. SS does something from the shadows.

Sharks and hatches and elements, oh my!
Nope, sounds good to me

DMC writeup for Mar 8, 2016 – Sharks and hatches and elements, oh my!

The meeting started off with more than the usual number of memorable quotes:
• Tellius: “Hey, can Janella just dangle Gwynn into the water from a rope like a tea bag?”
• Serp: “We could just try to drain this tub.”
Gwynn: “Where will we find something to blow it up with?”
Jan: “In Shadowstone’s chest!!”
• Serp: “Does anyone have a cylindrical thing?” (Nothing wrong there)
• Jan: “How about Shad’s shadow ability in water?”
Shad: “I don’t know. I could just go in and out real quick…“ (Nope, sounds good to me)
• Jan: “Let’s take this Elemental Body II for a ride!”

Anyway, after we topped out our day’s quote-o-meter in the first 9 minutes, we decided to employ our various methods to breathe water and just get through this waterfall to check out the one side of the water circuit that we hadn’t explored yet. Shad went shadowy, Jan went watery, Serp and Ronn chugged poshes, and Gwynn shoved his snake into a bag (Nope, sounds fine) and relied on his ring. Once again into the fray…

The team burst thru the waterfall to re-engage with the swimming cartilaginous tooth machine on the other side. Shad, in the shadows, surely did something or tried to and either succeeded or didn’t; Gwynn released some of the shark’s blood with a bit o’ axework; Tellius critically rapiered it; Serpenthelm vital struck it in the vitals. The shark hit and ran… right into Water Jan’s slam attack!!! Which missed. But not the second time!!! Shark steaks.

“Okay, team. Let’s try not to set off those summoning wards, all right?”

Tellius and Serpenthelm quickly flubbed swim rolls and set off two more shark-spawning sigils. Yet again into the fray… Tellius and Serp took on Sharkille O’Neal and Janella-mental was somewhere above the waterline in the middle; Shadowstones was no doubt doing something important with some level of effectiveness, which left Gwynn to take on Frankie the Fin in watery melee. The two bards were a symphony of rapiers, falling into a rhythm of pokery; Sharkille eventually succumbed to all those pricks. Meanwhile, Gwynn and Frankie the Fin squared off toe-to-tooth and proceeded to embarrass themselves in one of the worst collective displays of combat ineptitude ever seen above or below the waves. To onlookers, it must have looked like the two bodies flailing and flapping against each other uselessly were marionettes wielded by the gouted fingers of a brie-tart.

Fortunately, wet Jan managed to stop her laughing long enough to come in, lick her palms, and give Frankie some powerful wet slaps. And then, from out of nowhere, the shark suddenly died. Either the fighting gods could bear no more mockery, or Shadowspawn was actually doing some good wherever he was.
Tzar Lenz piped up: “Hey, nobody has taken any damage yet, have they?”
Lord Fowlie: “Uhh… I’ve taken 16.”
The author begins to question his own attention to detail, and decides to insert a disclaimer that the information contained in this write-up may contain errors, omissions, and even outright misrepresentations of the truth. This prose was inspired by a true make-believe story.

Okay, enough of sharks for a bit. Water Jan located a cylinder with a submarine-type hatch sporting runes around its edge, no doubt ready to flood the waters with more targets for slaps, pokes, slices, and shadowy caresses. Gwynn took care not to set them off, unscrewed the lid, and the crew swam down the hatch. Which soon turned into “up the hatch” as the gravity flipped orientation once again. At this point, 3 minutes 45 seconds had passed since entering the shark den. It was nearly pitch dark, but Gwynn felt a presence all around them. Tellius popped off some flare spells, which mostly just blinded us, but they also helped us realize that we were 40’ beneath the surface. Janella, still in her elemental form, cupped our bottoms in her watery hands (Whoa! Was that a finger?!) and propelled us to the air above.

Quick unscrewing. “Huuuuuhhhh….” Gwynn recapped his waterskin. Jan, always having the exact dress for the occasion, put her bat cloak to work and was soon exploring this airy zone. In another mind-feck, the gravity flipped once again 10’ up with 30 more feet “down” till solid ground. Janella’s shuttle service carried Gwynn and Serp up and then “down” to the ground, Tellius used his winged shield, and Shat floated around like a fart. Felt good to be back on Terra firma, loose soil beneath our feet. Gwynn put Vipet back into her hood, and all started to move around the new enviro.

Suddenly, a large earth elemental rose up from the ground and gave the Ronn a rocky swipe that left dirt on his face and dust in his eye. This stoned fellow could be a bit of a problem…

Rise above the hole in the
deepest of your depths (check)
for the path will steal
even the most iron will (probably those blood-sucking stirges)
and leave you barren. (don’t care about having kids anyway)

But when you pass this and
only Scarn’s elements remain (water – check; air – check; earth – underway; fire – ??)
as you wish, it will be free (do we really want to free that thing?!?!?)

Note: I’ve copied the loot haul from “Chest grab” just so that we don’t forget some of the resources we have access to. For instance, Janella, do you still have that staff? Shadowstones, did you figure out what that potion did?

We find:
• a +1 winged shield – this could come in handy. Tellius snaps it up as the only shield-bearer of our lot.
• a +2 compound longbow of distance. Though Serpy is close, she can’t quite pull it back to full draw yet. She vows to bulk up enough to be able to pull this mother properly – then the world had better be ready!
• a +2 dwarven thrower warhammer. This one is special, and Tellius takes it for the nonce. He knows how to throw his voice but not so much hammers, but that’ll come with practice, too. Gwynn is eying it up, though, and is trying to assess whether this dwarven wrecking ball would complement his sneaky “cut and burn” image. The jury is still out.
• We grab the scrollcase and crack the seal like an Inuit hunter. Janella can’t believe the powerful arcane spells she finds on the scroll: teleport, mass reduce person, elemental body III, stoneshape, and reverse gravity.
• a pearl of power level 2 – spell storage for an arcane caster. [editor’s note: I wrote down that Tellius took it, but I seem to remember hearing that it went to Janella. Clarification required].
• a candle of truth, which Serpenthelm pockets.
• a container of dust of disappearance. Jan disappears it into her sachel.
• a very powerfully-magicked dagger first goes to Gwynn, but Shad is looking at it lustfully – probably because it looks almost liftable – and Gwynn throws him a bone in exchange for the next item on this list. It manages to resist Tellius’ best efforts at detection; it is perhaps an artifact.
• a blue metal ring of water breathing now on the person of wee Pipet
• a staff of unknown abilities – Janella takes that, too. She’s making out like a bandit here!
• Shad takes the unknown multi-hued potion – it’s transmutative in family and a trial sip might possibly have just turned Shadowspawn gay.
• Finally, an extremely-powerful magic rug resists identification. All we can figure out is that it’s some sort of transportational tool, but none of us are quite ready to throw ourselves blindly onto that magic carpet ride. It goes into the chest.
3 full sets of the armour/shield/spear combo go into the chest, too, along with the stone body of some short dude named Rube or something, and to quickly celebrate our haul and still-fleshy flesh, we all take swigs of Gwynn’s fine port; nothing puts a stamp of approval on good times like a bit o’ licquor. Gwynn borrows Shad’s new blade to etch each member’s name onto the wooden cups he procured in Cadar and repockets the drinking equipment.

Are we headed up?
"That is future us's problem" - RT

We start the session with a brief review of our situation… We are near an alcove. no wall, back is grey mist. There is also a brief ceremony where Hero Points are awarded. Everyone gets one, cause we are all so awesome.

Play starts with Gwynn tossing a giblet. RT detects magic and finds strong alteration. Stones finds runes which are different from the previously found trigger runes. Janella tries to decipher “these are Barrier Runes, not Trigger Runes”. Serp ties a rope to her arrow and fires through the mist. The Rope slows but doesn’t fall to the ground. We pull the rope back and get 1/2 a broken arrow.

“Canary Stones” is volunteered to go into the mist with a rope around his chest in a cross your heart bra style. Upon returning 3 seconds later, said it felt like 1 second. He is pushed back into the mist for 10 seconds, but didn’t even have time to gather his wits before he was pulled out.
We formalise a test and send him in for 90 seconds. He gets to a count of 8, so we’re looking at a 11:1 time ratio. In his 8 seconds, Canary Stones is able to discern a large corridor with a lectern about 50ft (17m) “There may be a book there”

RT heals the team. Thanks Ron, and then we all head into the mist. The mist is 4ft(1.3m) thick at the door then no mist. It seems to be magical night and sure enough there is a lectern on a dias. Additionally there is a large runic circle in the middle of the floor, 1/2 way down the corridor. Janella is able to read “STASIS” “TIME” “SUMMON?” or maybe “CONJURE?” Here the water sounds "faster’ kind of higher pitched.

Jan bats it up and flys to the lectern and in doing so, triggers the floor runes.

There is indeed a book. “good eyes Canary Stones” Black, leather, attache style. She can read "power word "STUN""

Jan tries to remove the book and a blue cage appears. Canary Stones slashes at the cage and makes a small wound, but triggers the runes and 2 Beetles appear.
Serp and Gwynn valiantly hit for 21. RT casts “Haste”
Gwynn hits for another 4 and Vipet spring attacks for 3 plus poison, giving 2CON damage.

Jan tries dispel magic – Nope
Stones attacks the cage again.
Serp attacks and takes out Beetle #1 but provokes an attack of opportunity from #2 and all of a sudden, her bracers and rusted away – GONE.
Serp attacks #2 for 7
End of Round
Monster attacks Serp’s breast plate… GONE.
Canary Stones misses
Gwynn backstabs for 17
Jan attacks the cage for 7
Serp hits for 15 but loses axe to rust – GONE
Vipet hits for 1
RT valiantly hides in a corner and sings to courage, giving +2’s to all
Gwynn Saps the monster into submission

notes get a little disjointed here….

Jan and RT go back through the mist to study the book
CS takes robe and checks for traps
Gwynn makes breast plate of Blue Energy (+4) for Serp

Spell book has 3 spells CL15
Power word “STUN” 8th level wiz
Mislead 6th level
Elemental Body 2

can use like a scroll or sell them

The group heals and sleeps – sleep, funny that. Over to you Gwynn…

We go do some exploring. Tie a rope to Gwynn and a rung and send him out 90 seconds. 2 tugs for return. Gwynn can’t see much, murky. 40ft for 90. get 2 tugs and pull him back.
“Fucking Shark”, new gills.

Serp’s new armor is stable in water.

Jan checks the area as a bat and sees the shark, but nothing else in the murky water.

We call it a night.

I'm a Ranger Not a Mushroom

First of all, this is a messed up labyrinth with a wacky gravitational problem. Second of all, these water works are getting on my nerves!! Where are the hills and mountains and forests!!?? I’m a ranger for titan’s sake not a mushroom! Lastly these sharks, skeletons and giant mosquitoes are really pissing me off!! They have clearly been brainwashed into protecting this dung infested dusty, moldy, poor excuse for so called superior Charduni craftsmanship, ruins. HRUMPHHH!

I digress.

Lest we forget, our current purpose, other then to save these titan ravaged people from all the hooligans, ruffians and monsters roaming about, is to find whatever the hell dark sinister wants us to find in these god forsaken labyrinths (assuming these are the correct labyrinths), return it to her (so she can rule the world) in order to have whatever the hell is in Shadowspawn’s chest, threatening to snuff him out at the blink of an eye, removed. Then we still have to return to the north and save Scarn from the scary army that is being amassed and armored with an even scarier arsenal of mass destruction, capable of sucking all magic from anything that could possibly oppose them.

Sooooo, to continue the tale of our trek through these absolutely irritating tunnels and sewers….Gwinn upon further exploration of the area on the other side of the waterfall sees a metal cable. He climbs along it for a while before returning. Not exiting enough in that direction he yawns. Since that direction doesn’t seem very promising, we reverse and climb up the ladder. At the top, the water flows horizontally – see what I mean about messed up gravity?? When we fell through the hole, we went through our first reverse gravitational area. There are many such areas around here. The water is only 5’ deep here and a cable goes along the floor/roof/whatever! Gwinn goes through the water using the ring to breathe since his tiny frame is completely submerged. Janella goes next after feeling two jerks on the rope from Gwinn (we are all still roped together). Moments after she starts off the rope goes slack because she meets Gwinn who is scrabbling back and looking like he’s seen a shark. SHARK!

Naturally we have a burning desire to get in there and tame the shark but first we need to figure out how best to keep Vipette from drowning. An empty water skin does the trick. Girls first, Jann and I go back into the water. How bad can one shark be? The others follow.

Well there are 3 sharks damnit and one bites my leg the fucker. On his next pass it bites my leg again! I hit the poor excuse for cartilage with one of my 2 arrows. Small satisfaction. I kill it with another arrow. Better! Ronn stabs one of them. Jann claws another. Gwinn misses but then hits it on his next try. SS hits it with his draconic dagger. He is still not sure of its powers yet but making the little minnow bleed sure felt good! Jann grapples one of them, kills it and lifts it out of the water. We try to kill the third, Gwinn stumbles, I miss and finally RT stabs it right in the gills through to the heart just as it was nibbling on SS. Triumphantly I skin one, hopefully I can sell the leather for more masterworks arrows if we ever see the light of day again!

After Gwinn airs out Vipette, we carry on. Four large submerged charduni runic symbols (10×10) are on the ground. One is glowing. We suggest that SS should touch the glowing one with his draconic dagger. That bonehead move summons a 11 ‘ shark weighing 774lb. Gwinn hits it for a max of 4. I hit for 4. SS hits for 1. Jann takes a potion of greater strength. RT hits for 8. The shark monster misses Jann. Ronn now flanking the shark hits for another 8. Jann now stronger, misses anyway. Gwinn hits for 4 again right in the nether region. I give the final coup de grace with my bow. See ya mf!

Gwinn, always thinking sums it up; 4 runes = 4 sharks!! DOH!

We continue in the water up to the tube (reddish alloy metal). There are a bunch of other runes about which we don’t understand. Four runes are glowing ahead. Wisely we go around them. I think we’re done with sharks for a while. The current along here is quite strong and with the limited light we cannot even see the edges of this torrent. There is a waterfall ahead and behind us. It is easily 200’ across, forward and behind. We approach the waterfall. Protecting the waterfall like a dam is a line of rocks. Likely another trap. Small runic writings are inscribed on the rocks. Probably summons more freakin sharks to attack us. Jannela bat cloaks us all over the rocks. The current is more of a violent flow here. Gwinn and Jannela lose their footing and start tumbling down the waterfall. Miraculously, SS and I manage to hold them and pull them back up. Winded however, we can’t pull them out of the falls. After many, many attempts we pull the two waterlogged Wu’Jen out of the water and back to our side.

We still want to cross however and finally Gwinn gets to the other side, finds a ladder and ties himself off. Jann tries next but falls. Thankfully, we have tied both ends of the rope tied off but we are all stuck in the falls for what seems like forever!!!!. Ronn cuts the rope and RT and SS slam against the stairs. I’m stuck in the deluge and get my fill of shark water for awhile. We all climb up the ladder and get to the room where we hope there will be more treasure, no sharks and perhaps some answers!


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